Forgiveness and a Fragile Peace

by Margaret O’Brien 
“Forgiveness has nothing to do with absolving a criminal of his crime. It has everything to do with relieving oneself of the burden of being a victim--letting go of the pain and transforming oneself from victim to survivor” (C.R. Strahan). I am contemplating, “do I have it in me to forgive on that level?”

 Searching for solitude, I went for a walk after dinner tonight. The sun had already exhausted its movements across the Derry sky and the moon had yet to pull itself out of bed. Adhering to my rule of never wandering the same path twice when in unfamiliar surroundings, I walked the 400 year old wall, the stone path slick with rain water, slipped down some stairs, through a gate and into the Bogside neighborhood of Derry. It was here, after walking down an alleyway, that I stumbled across an obelisk. In the shadow of streetlights, in a neighborhood of town homes, quietly sits a dark granite monument engraved with the names of the “men” who lost their lives on Bloody Sunday. I put men in quotations because of the 13 who died that day, six were aged 17 years…these are not men, these are teenagers. I stood in the cold night, on an empty street, in a foreign land, staring at the names etched in the cold, dark granite and grieved for their mothers. I felt the tears well and release, mingling with the rain now falling on my face. I am the mother of teenaged sons. I recognize that the pain I am feeling for these mothers is nothing, absolutely nothing compared to what they felt, what they are still feeling. Could I forgive in the name of peace? Could I forgive my child being robbed of his future in the name of peace?

 Walking back to the hotel, I pondered forgiveness and the fragility of peace. These were just a few of the casualties of The Troubles, there were more, and many were young. Sons, daughters, husbands, wives, mothers, fathers...lost. Forgiveness and peace are intertwined. Peace is not possible without forgiveness. “Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude” (MLK). It is not lost on me that peace in Northern Ireland, the Good Friday Agreement is also 17 years old…peace is still a teenager.